if we were

i’m not done with today yet but so far, it has been tiring.

so at 7.30am we started our duty. basically just help around for the registration and stuff. but had to stand a long time lah. but it was fun because there were so many parents asking questions. they were asking me which course is best for their son lah. it was very flattering.

then after break, we had the tour around campus. this was the best. i was in charge of the PE group, unfortunately. luckily had another senior along.so we took them to the PE labs. god the labs are so empty except for a couple of extremely high tech looking thingies. very intimidating i would say. my first time there actually. so i tried not look so smart because if thet were to actually ask questions, damn kantoi. but goodness. there were couple of annoying brats. those poor souls probably thought that their interviews had already started and they were being monitored. they kept asking smarty pants questions. like what is the difference between land mining and off shore mining. then came questions with very scientific terms. i bet he must have thought he look smart. kesian…

then it was the IRC. can you actually believe this. they were not interested. i mean they get to enter the IRC and all they did was rush to the seats and just plant their asses there. however, there were a couple of very interested girls. i mean they were the types who asked questions like, why are the seats made like that or what is the average time a person spend in the IRC. was like a lame crappy interview. but i had to get some fun out of this right. so i was like explaining stuff and all. if you people were to actually see me there, you would have thought like i was like a final year student who knew everything, knew every dusty corners in this uni like the back of my hand. was a real ego boost i tell you. then one of those assholes just had to blow it. “excuse me miss (yes they called me miss), which year are you from”. i swear i dont know how that happened but i found my self saying “2nd year” so matter of factly. haha. shit. die if they actually see me when sem starts. “just finished foundation  and about to enter undergrad” just did not fit in that scenario. i mean that girl was probably the same age or a year older. so i felt guilty after saying it. thats why i opted to use my free time to blog, to get that out of my chest. such a relieve.

later on, they’ll be sitting for their test. this i can’t wait for. insted of waiting for papers to be distributed, i’ll be distributing them. i’ll be walking around. uuuuhh i hope somebody puts up their hand and ask me questions. so cool.

i know i’m very much self-absorbed and syok sendiri type of person.

ohh i completely forgot. well nearly. lin, sorry to say, i did a very thorough scrutiny on them.mind you they were in formal some more but, very disappointing. got a few ok looking ones but not even one with “who”/TFS/strawberry/ ex- strawberry/ peach or apple material or even close. very sad. maybe later during the test can actually see properly cause they’ll be concentrating on the test so can actually see them properly. i’ll keep my big eyes open i promise. the girls are quite pretty though, unfortunately! hehe

we made you

today was a tiring day indeed. got up early to attend this mini workshop. it was ok. learned a lot. then in the afternoon we had a briefing about what we need to do tomorrow, 1st day of educamp. damn those people get to stay in V4! not much to do, but we get a certificate, RM50, and coupon worth RM12 per day for food. so i’m not complaining much. besides, the people who would be coming are those from STPM, diploma, foundation, and so on. that means they all will most likely be older than me.  i’m going to have a good time feasting my eyes tomorrow…hehe. after  that, we helped out to sort out the test papers for them tomorrow and it took us 4 exhausting hours. nevertheless, we got RM6 to spend on dinner, which is a lot.

i have to finish some work up by today and sleep early. you know since i got here, the earliest i sleep is 3 am, which is very late for me. tomorrow is going to be a long but fun day….i hope. i mean the fun partlah.

it ain’t over till it’s over

i woke up  with a call from my head of department. he was mumbling something. i mean i was so blur, goodness know what he said. somehow the conversation came to an end, so it seemed. so i thought what everlah and i slept back. only i couldn’t sleep back.

thank god he was on gtalk (ok fine this chat chat thingie can be useful at times). so i told him the lamest excuse ever and asked him to repeat what he’d said. so, it seemed that in that conversation in which i  didn’t have a clue bout anything, i had agreed to be the facilitator for the upcoming educamp this wednesday. oh god i’m such a goofball.

it can’t be that bad right. right? i mean it’s not like i’ve been to an educamp. so i basically know nothing yet. somebody is suppose to call me and explain about sometime later. anyways, those who have nothing better to do (and are kind enough to help their dear friend) do tell me every detail bout your educamp and the facilitators there ya.hehe…just need to imagine how it’s going to be.

slow down baby

today was an …interesting day.

my parents came all the way here to see their lovely daughter. like always, they did not come empty handed. they brought me food and some stuff to save me from boredom. then just all of a sudden my dad just suggested to head to pangkor. ok this is actually something we don’t always do. you know being spontaneous and all. i was bloody excited. i mean vacation-ish thing with only my parents and no ahem ahem siblings to tag along..heaven.

and so we drove and drove. was so cute to see my parents grumble and fuss on the simplest things. and quarrel without actually realising that they both are actually saying the same thing. so then, we reached lumut and walked around abit. to bad we then decided not to go to pangkor because my dad’s leg was hurting again. we let my dad to rest awhile before heading back to utp. of course on the way back i was bugging my dad. i was telling my dad  that he should let me drive back to utp. i mean i’s just a straight road, how bad can it be right. but to bad, my mom was there and she said she would rather walk then sit in the car if i were to drive.

finally we reached utp. the weather is like so freaking hot, there were forest fire all the way. daim!

anyways then, at the car park, my dad stopped and got of. then he just passed me the car keys and told me to drive. my mum obviously was freaking out. at first it was a pretty shaky.my diving that is but later on, it was ok. quite smooth actually. hehe see told you i am not a bad driver. i just need a little practice. nice to drive leh. i was actually surprised that my dad let me practise with his waja. usually the nearest we get to driving would be by using my dad’s 21 year old piece of junk saga.

so, after doing my on-line routine (blog hoping + checking my mail), i’ll have to start my work. i’m the person in charge from the cnp department for the treasure hunt, some charity thingie, and some family day stuff. i’ve got to like check with the other department to ensure we have everything, and yeah do the flow of the event. honestly speaking, i haven’t got a clue on where to start and all but i think i’ll survive. good exposure no? but of course i cant start on that just yet. have to finish a couple more episodes of my grey’s anatomy…

hope you guys are enjoying your holidays!

wherever you will go

knowing me for about a year now, most of you can easily conclude that out out 365 days, i choose to stay indoors for the 31/4 of it. just me nature and thus the big ass people…hehe.

anyways, today, i did something so totally not me. i actually lifted my ass and got out of my room. this was probably due to my desperation turned motivation to get my electric jug back so i can have a decent cup of coffee. my first destination, block O. after much persuasion i got the keys (goodness know why the guy in charge was bickering bout god watching us lah and what not. i really was not paying attention). and if you must know i got what i wanted and as i speak type, i’m sipping a cup of heavenly coffee.

so then, i returned the key, had my lunch (take note, i had a decent meal instead of opting for my regular maggi mee), ran a few errands and finally head back to me dorm. seriously, aren’t you people proud of me? i spent a whole 3 hours outdoors. big accomplishment for me,no?

another thing you should have known bout me by now. that my mind changes in the fraction of a millisecond. no i’m not indecisive (ok well except when it comes to choose what to eat). it just that..ok fine i’m bloody indecisive. bite me. it’s just like when i said i like studying then the next second you hear me rambling on and on bout how i hate engineering. and so do allow me to do this once more. this though is more about V1D. ok so my first impression is wow i think i might just like this place. the suckiness was oblivious to me yesterday but slowly today, it unravelling itself. for starters, the room does not have a divider like my previous room. dah lah the room smaller. it’s so weird. then don’t even get me started on the toilets. ugh!!!

never mine that. guess who i bumped into today. bugsie!(sorry don’t know how to spell that). i was at usm cafe then he was in front of me so i stopped and stared. i din have my glasses on and besides he looked different. and so we stared for a good whole minute (so it seemed). then he mumbled something which i think sounded like hi and god knows why i said i’m fine. haha it was so hilarious. he gave a stupid face and walked off. i was hitting my head all the way back like a cuckoo person. seriously benggong!

ahhhh can’t wait for sem to start and see you people. this would have been more fun if you people were here. imagine just staying a whole month here just watching movies, bitching bout juniors, doing a lil work here and there, hanging out and the best part, we don’t have to study at all. cool no?

elevator

and so, i’m back and all settled in utp. i’m staying in V1D. ok so i might have exaggerated bout being haunted by unborn babies. truth is it’s actually nice here. i do like it here better than V2C. the room is smaller than the one before but, i don’t know it just feels more comfortable. it’s way cooler here too. so yeah, i like it. so far no wireless loh but then LAN has not disappointed me yet. oh and i saw a couple of juniors (hehe…juniors…).and i must say i’ve sighted a couple of pretty ones…

anyways, i’m still free. probably will be getting our 2nd task tomorrow.

ok so thats basicaly it. not so much of a suckie day as i imagined it to be. except one thing. i left some stuff at the V2C common room cause i know i might need it here. then just now when i went there…it was locked! that means i can’t get my electric jug. and you know what that means…NO COFFEE! can you imagine that. i’ll go see mr.talhah or whoever the first thing in the morning before i go mad…

la tortura

The haze here is bad. My uber sensitive eyes have been itching nonstop since day one. The haze this time is not that bad compared to the ones we had before where schools had to be closed down. Even so, it is bad enough. Now that is just the haze.

Then there is the tormenting heat. Now that is not exactly the problem. We can just take cover from the blazing sun by staying indoors and enjoying the result of a blessed creation…The Air-Conditioner. The thing is, it has not rained since forever. The dams are drying up. The water level in the tangki at my housing area is at its minimum level. The result of that my friend is, two freaking days without bloody water! Ish!

Therefore, I am forced to spend the last days of my minimal holiday staying indoors.

With that, I thought of further researching about the Dyslexia. I think it was last year when my sis took  the test in her uni. She like had a proper analysis and all, and she confirmed that she was dyslexic. Therefore, I had this hunch that maybe I was dyslexic too. I did a short test over the Internet and the signs all seemed to fit. Therefore, this time when I came back, I was interrogating my dad. You see Dyslexia is believed to be inherited. Voila! My dad practically has all the signs. Therefore, after like checking all the web site available and watching podcast containing interviews and all, I think I can conclude that I am dyslexic too just like my dad, second sis and yes, my younger brother too. here are some of the obvious symptoms that i have.

• The dyslexic may reverse letters like b and d, or p and q, either when reading or writing.
• He may invert letters, reading or writing n as u, m as w, d as q, p as b, f as t.
• He may read or write words like no for on, rat for tar, won for now, saw for was.
• He may read or write 17 for 71.
• He may mirror write letters, numbers and words.
• When reading, the dyslexic may put letters in the wrong order, reading felt as left, act as cat, reserve as reverse, expect as except.
• He may put syllables in the wrong order, reading animal as ‘aminal’, enemy as ‘emeny’.
• He may put words in the wrong order, reading are there for there are.
• The dyslexic may write letters in the wrong order, spelling Simon as ‘Siomn’, time as ‘tiem’, child as ‘chidl’.
• He may omit letters, i.e. reading or writing cat for cart, wet for went, sing for string.
• Dyslexics may also have trouble remembering the order of the alphabet, strings of numbers, for example telephone numbers, the months of a year, the seasons, and events in the day.
• Omits or reads twice little words like the, and, but, in.
• Adds little words which do not appear in the text.
• Generally illegible writing.
• Letter inconsistencies.
• Mixture of upper/lower case letters or print/cursive letters.
• Irregular letter sizes and shapes.
• Unfinished letters.
• Struggle to use writing as a communicative tool.
• The dyslexic may have a problem with numbers and calculations involving adding, subtracting and time tables.
• He may be confused by similar-looking mathematical signs: + and ×; –, ÷ and =; < (less than) and > (greater than).
• He may not grasp that the words ‘difference’, ‘reduction’ and ‘minus’ all suggest ’subtraction’.
• He may understand the term ‘adding’, yet be thrown if asked to ‘find the total’.
• He may transpose numbers i.e., 752 – 572.
• He may have a difficulty with mental arithmetic.
• He may have a problem with telling the time.
• Makes up a story, based on the illustrations, which bears no relation to the text.
• Reads very slowly and hesitantly.
• Loses orientation on a line or page while reading, missing lines or reading previously-read lines again.
• Reads aloud hesitantly, word by word, monotonously.
• Tries to sound the letters of the word, but is then unable to say the correct word. For example, sounds the letters ‘c-a-t’ but then says cold.
• Mispronounces words, or puts stress on the wrong syllables.
• Foreshortens words, for example ‘portion’ for proportion.
• Substitutes another word of similar meaning, for example dog for pup.
• Reads with poor comprehension.
• Remembers little of what he reads.
• Spells words as they sound, for example ‘rite’ for right.
• Cannot write or match the appropriate letter when given the sound.
• Often ignores punctuation. He may omit full stops or commas and fail to see the need for capital letters.
• Poor at copying from the board.
• Has trouble attaching names to things and people.
• Seems to “Zone out” or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.
• Difficulty sustaining attention; seems “hyper” or “daydreamer.”
• Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.
• Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.
• Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.
• Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.
• Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can’t do it on paper.
• Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.
• Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.
• Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

I have been able to comprehend some of the symptoms. they were more intense when i was younger. my teacher used to tell me that i was lazy cause i never checked my spellings and all before handing in my work. the thing is i always checked but nothing seemed wrong…

This is not my excuse for anything but rather an answer to so many things. I mean when i was younger, i thought i was stupid or something. So yeah this answers a whole lot of things.

Anyways i’ll be heading back to utp in a couple of days time and guess where will i be staying…V1D. Yay! I can’t wait to be haunted by scary unborn babies. A whole month there some more. Shit! Wan Lin‼‼!

on my way down

sat for my chemistry exam just now and yup as predicted, it was suckie. and once again i must say that it’s times like this when you deperately pray and hope that your paper lands into the hands of a real good hearted examiner. who by luck seems to be real generous with the “pitty marks”. and it’s times like this when you start promising yourself all over again that your gonna work your ass out next sem… oh well.

i guess it’s ok cause this is not the end.

till we meet again next sem organic chem. this time i’ll kisk your ass! MUAHAHAHA!

ok back to packing. it’s english tomorrow so what the heck…

going under

needed to take a break from crappy chemistry…

anyways, exam’s in 17 hours time and nothing seems to be entering this thick skull of mine. i officially, HATE  ORGANIC  FREAKING CHEMISTRY! it’s times like this when we start believing in the impossible and start praying- real hard! like i’m now pathetically and desperately keeping my fingers crossed hoping that the paper tomorrow’ll be easy and that it’ll be more of physical chemistry. right like the paper will somehow miraculously alter itself. DAMN!

i’m really trying hard but nada! nothing’s going in!!! oh mummy let’s hope your essence of chicken is really a miracle giver like you claim it to be.

you know what’s the irony in this? i’m in chemical engineering and i bloody hate don’t get chemistry. shit! i’m SCREWED!!!

in another life

Deep in slumber

I see,

A majestic beast,

before me.

With wings of an angel

it soars,

To the sun,

where it belongs.

The scene so bizarre,

It blinds.

The feel so peculiar,

It overwhelms.

With the weight of the world

lifted off my shoulders

and beaten down by bewilderment,

I awake.

Gone have the years

but that memory stays,

Plastered too permanently,

In my chaotic mind.

A desperate need I feel,

To once again see,

This little piece of magic,

That kept me sane and alive,

All this while.

roll to me

and so, this hectic week fillied with test has finally come to an end…

moving on…

i’ve noticed lately that many of us i tend to excessively use self contradicting phrases or also known as oxymoron . now, i was listening to a conversation the other day, and i for once noticed how confusing people can get with their choice of words. like when someone says their half dead, quarter way or half way…the fact remains-your dead. or phrases like true story, least favourite, serious fun, home office and only choice? now don’t get me wrong, i don’t find them annoying or anything. in fact  i like them and i, fancy using them at any chance i get.  however, like i said before, it can get pretty confusing at times. so ppl…pay attention to what your saying (yes, this implies to me also…)

anyways, finals are approaching. truth be told, i absolutely despise exams/ quizzes/ test. whatever. nothing much i can do about it now right (uuuh or can i…?). even so, my sis made a list to  remind us on why we love them…

1. it’s easy (denial being optimistic!)
2. get to study/ go crazy with good friends
3. for the sake of the relieved feeling when you hand over your paper
4. if the paper was tough, you get to bitch bout the lecturer
5. if the paper was easy, you get to say how hard you actually studied
6. don’t have to go to class
7. no take home work
8. it’s only a 3 hours max thing.
9. the post war rocks!
10. you get to be all irritating and edgy to ppl and then just blame it on the stress

and so with that  ppl i wish you luck in preparing for the exams and i extend it to when you do the exams.  and if you don’t feel in the mood for the exams, then you know what just screw it! it’s your last chance to do it. don’t screw it kaw-kaw till can’t go undergrad lah…but yeah good luck with that too. cheers!

crazy

i want a doggie….

what took you so long

i couldn’t stand the nagging thought at the back of my head pestering me to update. so yeah…i would say that there were many times where i actually log in to my blog account and hit the new post option.  the best part is  i actually had lots to say  and would have probably have typed two to three paragraphs then it would suddenly just feel pointless so i’ll just delete the post. i’m determined this time though to go on and complete a whole  post….

so, the other day i was talking to one of my sis and she mentioned a random thought. she said that assuming that she were to die at the age of 65 ( i think it’s an ideal age to die too..hehe), and that she’s 23 this year, she had lived 35.4% of her life and that with each passing day, 0.0042% of her life passes by. now, some would rather pass on that thought and ignore it but it kinda got a hold on me. jan visited me and lin a few weeks back and talking to her really got me reminded of the me then. i definitely have changed so much. in form five, can say lah that i was more adventurous, more crazy. there were so many times were i would say, screw it or whateverlah and just go and do what i wanted. like just skip school or class and go do something more entertaining, hoh jan. i was more daring. at that time, i imagined myself doing either  anthropology or journalism or something. i wanted to go overseas (Switzerland?…hehe). but that was then. now is a whole different story.

i guess it’s the place here. makes me very immobile. if i wanted to just go and do something, i have to trouble other people. i actually feel like i’m growing stupider with each passing day. so, i have actually been grumbling to my sis and to myself  about how stuck i am. and that when i graduated, i would have wasted 7.7% of my life here. and then…it hit me. i’m probably the only benggong person feeling this way. maybe because there are not many people here who are from kl and miss the whole rush. and maybe because the others were being more creative and finding ways and means to undull their sad lives. maybe i give to much excuses. so today though i knew it was pointless, i forced myself and dragged my huge lazy ass to the convofair committee recruitment interview. i’m sure i won’t get it. i only went there for the experience of attending such interview. at least now got one interesting thing to add, no?

so what has all this got to do with my sis’s random thought? i think it scared me. you know the thought that i have about 70.8% more to live. and that 7.7% of it will be wasted and it sucks real bad if i spend it under  piles of books.

but now, after giving the matter much thought, i think i wouldn’t call it wasting. i choose engineering and utp for a reason. and that is very important to me though it’s freaking hard. i  guess i have to grow up and stop complaining. i can’t just say screw it or whateverlah cause it’s my precious life i’m affecting. i should stop comparing my life to other people. just because other people are joining every single thing and going to every single place, and passing every single test doesn’t mean that is life and that is how it should be in order, to say that i spent my live efficiently and happily.you see i’m real smart. but i’m not quick witted. so i think it’s ok that i’ll be spending 7.7% of this life piled under books. some will call it boring and pathetic. some will say that i’m wasting my life. but i’m actually beginning to like it. the excitement of getting a freaking long e-maths question right after hours of doing it or finally getting the hang of the Fischer projection. i’m gonna go slow and steady and enjoy every part of my studying process. it’s more fun and meaningful that way. i’ll be giving it my best-est and i’m gonna ignore the results. it’s less stressful that way.

i’m not saying that i’m going to lock myself up in my room. i’m just saying that i have cut down my leisure time to an adequate but not to a depressing amount. and that i’m allocating  this 7.7% of my life for my mental upgrade. that way i’m not wasting any percent of my life but rather…hehe..spending it wisely.

strange magic

i went back home last week  for my mid-sem break and now i’m back in cowboy town.  anyways this was how i spent my precious time…

it started of with dad, mom and i heading of to see my asshole of a brother in melaka (he’s in ns…yay!.suffer you celaka!).then since my sis was in mmu, melaka for a debate, we dropped by to see her too since it’s been ages since i last saw her. that was sunday. so on monday i finally got my hair cut. now to most of you this might seem pretty normal and mundane. to me, a trip to a hair saloon is like a trip to hell. i almost never left a saloon feeling satisfied. in fact the last visit  to hell the piganosaurous freaking got my luscious curls (…hehe…)straightened. so yeah this time, i just had to cop it off though my hair still looks fairly straight…damn!

next was the visit to the optometrist for a number of reasons. looks like my big goo-goo eyes is doing me more harm than good. i paid like 200+ for the medication which i have to apply hourly and i got myself an appointment for this coming saturday. this means that i’ll be heading back to kl next week…sweet. as for the rest of the holiday, well it was basically spent for family time.

now the ranting part. i remember telling myself that i was going to finish ALL (wishful thinking?) my freaking call lab essays. but as predicted, i did nothing. you see being at home is like a license for procrastination. it is a place where my to-do list ends up being a never-done one. this only means one thing. i suffer when i come back. i’ve got to start real  soon of risk facing doom…

oh and i was talking to my eldest sis the other day and i got reminded of my favourite cartoons when i was young. i guess the most famous were the DC comic turn cartoons like batman, flash, justice league. surprisingly my asshole of a brother was the one who got me interested in these cartoons. of course it was when he was cute and wasn’t so much of an ass then. anyways like any other kid,  i wanted to be a super hero too. i was awed by these ladies and i wanted to be like them….haha…

The Women of DC

it’s been awhile…

…definitely! so i’m back from my little hiatus with ironically pretty much nothing much to say…i just felt the need to update my blog since its freaking march already. so, update i will.

since last monday was a public holiday and all, i decided to head back home and surprise my parents.  so i got on a 4:50am train (hehe… semangat balik…) and i reached  civilisation at 7:30 sharp, got a bus and i was already at home at 8.  my parents weren’t home then so my sister blurry opened the door and let me in…and the rest was basically the typical surprise. all in all, like always it was nice and refreshing to be back home.

oh and i met this guy who reminds me alot of  Yuckie (not real name). for those of you who don’t know, Yuckie is this smart ass guy from primary school who unfortunately followed me to secondary school.  i actually really hate him.  so yeah this guy, the one who reminds me of Yuckie, let’s call him Suckie.  he’s not that bad and he does not share much similarities with Yuckie but still, for some funny reason, he reminds me a lot of Yuckie and therefore, i unfairly hate Suckie…haha. Daim!

so, thats about it. my pathetic post. Cheers! to Suckie and to Yuckie, i hope your life sucks…hehe